Corn Beef and Cabbage a holy moment

As I stand at the counter in our home prepping our once a year corn beef and cabbage I was struck by the intensity of the past two months and overwhelmed with the gifts of life in the past two  months.  If you know me you know I eat very little if any red meat but once a year Shawn laughs as I prepare corn beef because I love it and it makes no sense what so ever but I enjoy it every year.  I remember making my first one on my own and I put it on the stove and 5 hours later it still wasn't cooked and I called home to figure it out and my grandmother gave me some advice turn up the heat honey.  You aren't cooking it just warming it oh ok I said and turned it up and an hour later it was ready.  I thought about that this morning as I put my chunk of meat in the crock pot and i knew how to do it.  I knew what we liked as a family and I didn't need to call anyone for help.  In one way I liked knowing something and in another I longed for a time when I needed to call. 

I stood looking out my window the one I own and I saw the beautiful Colorado blue sky, the trees, the sun shinning on my face and I cut potatoes and I felt grateful and overwhelmed, excited and scared, restful and tired beyond measure, it was quiet in my home I was alone for the first time in our new home.  I drew a few deep breaths and stopped to take it all in.  I had to take in the past two months which I have survived but barely breathed during.  I am reminded of the mundane tasks that show us God and life in their full beauty.  I am weary and tired and my patience is short but I have a rich and beautiful life.  I have seen another year and I have made another corn beef and cabbage.  You would be proud Grandma I made it all on my own in my own kitchen to feed my family.  Where has the time gone?  How did I get to this moment in life?  How fast it seems to be moving and turning.  I took another deep breath and pulled out my kids Saturday cereal and poured myself a bowl of Lucky Charms because I loved them as a kid and I sat down and ate a bowl because I could as an adult eat them and because I needed to be reminded that the child that looks forward to Lucky Charms lives on in me.  Fun, laughter, a carefree time with no stress and worries those memories are in me as well and tapping into them makes me remember that life is love, joy, laughter, and fun in the midst of great pain, stress, sorrow, and sadness.  Life is all of these things wrapped up in some weird often confusing package that shows itself in the making of a corn beef and cabbage.