My Renaissance Man

The other day Marin came down dressed in an outfit she picked out herself a purple tu tu and brightly colored striped pants and she told me she want to show her brother.  Well when she came down the stairs he said Babes you look beautiful I love the sparkle heart on your tutu and they way it matches the purple stripe in your pants is very pretty.  I really like it Babes you did a great job.  Now if he had said it really makes your eyes pop I might have fallen over and I thought to  myself way to go Symeon guy she smiled and twirled and then they headed off together.  She was beaming following him and he continued to complement her choice.  I praised him and told him that he was being kind and thoughtful to his sister he beamed and off they went. 

Another day he sat down next to me and said Mom let's talk about our feelings.  So he said how are you feeling?  I gave him my answer then I asked how are you feeling and he told me.  My soul was blessed because he wanted to talk about his feelings and he wanted to hear how I was feeling.  Oh my sweet guy may you always be willing to talk about how you feel and always be so willing to ask and listen to others. 

A Stress Blessing

Okay so you know when you have kids that there are these surprise blessings in some of the most stressful situations well this past Sunday at church I was reminded once again of the ministry of a carefree spirited child.  Every Sunday at church they sing Jesus loves me this I know and all the kids come forward for a children's story now granted I don't think they are always age appropriate with analogies etc but both our kids love to go down front and listen.  Symeon is now old enough to go by himself and sit without worry but our dear Babes McGee can still get a bit off course so one of us usually goes with her.  I must admit it can be a  bit stressful for me since I don't ever know what she is going to do.  For instance she often puts her dress over her head, or she lays down on the stage singing while the person is talking, or she wants to wander or she asks me a ton of questions like why do you have blue eyes, or she tells a baby to leave her alone.  Oh the stories go on and on and most of the time I find it funny because it is just Babes but sometime I turn red because I can feel the whole church watching her and I. 

Well this week as we walked into church someone came up to me and told me how much of a blessing it was to watch her up front and she told Marin I am so glad you are here today.  Well I  needed that and as we went forward yesterday I was a bit calmer until the antics began dress over head slapping her belly, multiple questions about the color of our eyes and hair then she began pulling gently on Symeon's hair and he pushed her away, in my mind they had it out on the stage but crisis averted and we continued.  Well then the story teller referenced Marin's favorite song Jesus loves me and she broke into a solo of the entire thing.  How can you shhh Jesus loves me really so off she sang while the women kept talking.  Sweet and yet you know!  Well after church 3 more people came to tell us what a blessing she was and a very good singer.  They all loved watching her and she said thank you as they complimented her singing and overall stage presence. 

It was good to be reminded that the little stress I feel is really blessing so many people.  Granted we have to work on appropriate social behavior but she is ministering to people in a way I never could and needless to say I signed her up for a drama class because honestly the world is her stage and I want to let her shine. 

Honestly I don't know where to begin

The past 2 months have been difficult, exhausting, exciting, and overwhelming several times I was pushed past my breaking point lost my temper or control of my emotions, felt terrible, forgave my self, asked forgiveness and pushed forward.  The past two months have been life the kind you might  not always enjoy but when you get through the season you realize you are different and you can decide what that different will be, I am choosing growth, life, thankfulness, and finally I am choosing to rest in the face of many things undone.  I do not like things undone in any way but that is not life there is always a bit of things undone and that is OKAY! 

When it comes to our blog I am not sure what to go back and post about and what to store in my memory and move forward without mentioning.  I do think as I start to reflect on the last few months I will have things I want to include and others I will just hold inside myself.  We did have such exciting things like Symeon's 4th birthday, moving into our first house, and our 9th wedding anniversary.  I hope to at least touch on these important and exciting milestones in our lives.  So as we move forward as a family I think it is good to remember the struggles and the faithfulness of the past two months and how life has been forever changed by the day to day moments that make up this wild ride called life.  I think this picture sums up the feeling of the past two months which was overwhelmed by a big pile of stuff.  The great thing is that I laughed when I saw this and the other night in the car driving alone I laughed to hard I teared up. I laughed about the absurdity of the past two months, I laughed because we made it through, I laughed because I could and it felt good, I laughed because life is funny, I laughed because I did not want to cry, and I laughed because in the  midst of great stress and sorrow came great joy and laughter.

I call this piece of artwork "Overwhelmed"  befitting it seems.

Corn Beef and Cabbage a holy moment

As I stand at the counter in our home prepping our once a year corn beef and cabbage I was struck by the intensity of the past two months and overwhelmed with the gifts of life in the past two  months.  If you know me you know I eat very little if any red meat but once a year Shawn laughs as I prepare corn beef because I love it and it makes no sense what so ever but I enjoy it every year.  I remember making my first one on my own and I put it on the stove and 5 hours later it still wasn't cooked and I called home to figure it out and my grandmother gave me some advice turn up the heat honey.  You aren't cooking it just warming it oh ok I said and turned it up and an hour later it was ready.  I thought about that this morning as I put my chunk of meat in the crock pot and i knew how to do it.  I knew what we liked as a family and I didn't need to call anyone for help.  In one way I liked knowing something and in another I longed for a time when I needed to call. 

I stood looking out my window the one I own and I saw the beautiful Colorado blue sky, the trees, the sun shinning on my face and I cut potatoes and I felt grateful and overwhelmed, excited and scared, restful and tired beyond measure, it was quiet in my home I was alone for the first time in our new home.  I drew a few deep breaths and stopped to take it all in.  I had to take in the past two months which I have survived but barely breathed during.  I am reminded of the mundane tasks that show us God and life in their full beauty.  I am weary and tired and my patience is short but I have a rich and beautiful life.  I have seen another year and I have made another corn beef and cabbage.  You would be proud Grandma I made it all on my own in my own kitchen to feed my family.  Where has the time gone?  How did I get to this moment in life?  How fast it seems to be moving and turning.  I took another deep breath and pulled out my kids Saturday cereal and poured myself a bowl of Lucky Charms because I loved them as a kid and I sat down and ate a bowl because I could as an adult eat them and because I needed to be reminded that the child that looks forward to Lucky Charms lives on in me.  Fun, laughter, a carefree time with no stress and worries those memories are in me as well and tapping into them makes me remember that life is love, joy, laughter, and fun in the midst of great pain, stress, sorrow, and sadness.  Life is all of these things wrapped up in some weird often confusing package that shows itself in the making of a corn beef and cabbage. 

Cracking me up

Just this morning the kids have been  making me laugh with some of the stuff coming out of their mouths.  At 5 am this morning (which has been a regular wake up time for my usual late sleeping Symeon and since our  move I think this is how we are seeing some of his adjustment stuff)  I saw his light on and went into his room to find him playing.  I told him it was dark and he needed to get back in his bed and he looked at me and said, "Mom I am over awake"  it took me a minute to figure out what he meant but I often say Symeon you are over tired time for bed.  So over awake meant he was ready to be up and playing.  I smiled hugged and told him to get in his bed which he did although I could hear him talking to himself and his animal until it was time to get up. 

This  morning when I was passing out vitamins and I took my calcium chew (which Marin is obsessed with) she said Mom when I get big I want to be like you.  Oh so sweet I am thinking you know maybe my great motherly ways, my smile, whatever quality she might like to be like me and she says, " I want to eat those (calcium chews) and drink coffee"  I cracked up and told her that was good.  It is amazing what they notice she loves to smell my coffee everyday after I make it and it is steaming hot and the smell is wonderful.  I am creating a coffee drinker for sure.