One of those weeks

Last week I had one of those weeks.  You know what I mean one of those weeks that defeats you a bit as a mother, wife, and woman.  Shawn was out of town for two days which just added to the chaos but it started before that you know when kids wake up with fevers and the only day you had open for several weeks to get dentist appointments in now have to be booked again. 

You know the day you wake up and realize you left the sprinkler running all night and have a pool in your front yard, then on the walk to your car you see the dome light on which your toddler turned on and left on all night, you realize Halloween costumes someone let you borrowed ended up in the good will pile during the last move, and finally when you have a minute to make yourself a cup of coffee you add that much beloved cream for that perfect cup and chucks float to the top of your coffee because the cream is spoiled.  Really, really you say and then you just laugh a good laugh.  Really this is life. 

I had a week where I blew it completely.  I forgot Symeon had soccer practice even though we go every Wednesday evening.  One night Symeon and Marin had cereal for dinner and not even healthy cereal sugar cereal as did I.  The next night we had hot dogs.  I completely forgot a friends child's birthday party until the afternoon and then we had to run to the store and pick a present the same store I had already been to twice that week.

My allergies bothered me all week.  I went to bed early every night and yet I was so tired.  I struggled through last week.  I was mean to my kids, my husband, and myself.  I had to apologize so many times it seemed my attempts to pick my self up and change were futile.  It was a rough week and I know we have all had them.  Symeon smashed his face at school and I over reacted.  I did not return emails, texts, or phone call.  I limped through each day and dragged myself over the finish line to the weekend.  I dear friend from PSH where I used to work in PA passed away this week.  I grieved  and longed to be back in a place where I love with people I love.  Overall not my best week.

I wish I could say my knees hurt because I was on them asking God for strength, wisdom, and forgiveness but instead I feel like a kid who tripped and skinned both knees happy to wallow a bit in my pain and looking for comfort and sympathy.  I wish I could say oh this week tried me and I grew instead I feel tried and a bit defeated.  Like every week and season in life I know this too shall pass but in the midst of our pain whatever it may be I don't always want to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I have come to a point in life that I am okay with pain, I am okay with hard weeks, strong emotions, saying sorry, feeling uncomfortable, being sad, struggling to get through my days because I have been through hard weeks enough in life to know out of them come great growth, new ideas, new directions, insights for myself and my family. 

So this week I wait knowing that the pain of last week and the continued discomfort in my soul this week is a work being done.  I am not finished with this journey called life and living in the discomfort will bring new "things."  I just keep reminding myself to "wait for it, wait for it"  and in the midst of waiting I will try my hardest and say sorry a bunch more times.